Blog Post #3 Finding Peace in Grief

As isolating and lonely as grief can be, its also something

that deeply links us together. The connection we have is not

only going to be a catalyst for our healing but something

to be grateful for.

The most crucial part of healing grief is that we do not feel

alone. The loneliness of grief is extraordinary.

Grief is all the unexpressed love you did not get to share.

Grief is being grateful for the one you lost and the life you

had with them. So grief, in a strange way, is a need that

everyone will have, if they are lucky.

Grief is not a bad thing, its a reaction to a bad thing. Grief

itself is a natural process that has to be experienced, to

grow.

We can learn to love things that we wish did not happen.

Having gratitude for the pain, doesn't take the pain away or

make the grief less profound. In many ways, it makes it more

profound but it requires that you look at it, and when you

look at pain, it also creates knowledge and understanding

of what other people are going through. It deeply

connects us and there is a value to having experienced it.

After the news of your tragic loss, you're never the same. In

that one moment, everything that you knew changed.

Now even in moments of joy theres empitness. Even in

moments of beauty there will be a new found awareness of

the frailty of it all and that understanding is a gift.

Grief is painful and its going to be around as long as you

are. But there's a symbolic relationship between you and

this pain that you will make peace with and eventually won't

regret the existance of. That being said, it doesn't mean that

you won't wish it never happened.

Talking about grief and hearing others talk about their grief

is accepting it. Sharing your grief with others is a gift.

Grief is a choice in any minute of any day, allowing it to be

there or ignoring it. Opening the door or slamming the

door shut. Broken yes, but bitter, no.

You can't fix grief but you can allow it to be. You have to

accept it - the loss is real. It's important to see reality or you

can become really good at rewriting your reality.

We think it's going to shut us down and we'll be sad forever

but in fact addressing and sharing your grief - telling your

story - exchanging stories, opens us up to a deeper

relationship, being more fully human. In order to become

more fully human you have to go through suffering and

suffering is part of existance. Acceptance of that suffering is

not victum-hood or defeat.

We think that excitement and happy feelings is the path that

leads us towards feelings of joy, when actually, addressing

grief is.

Dealing with grief is not a trap to depression, it's a

doorway to another you. Grief is a portal and you're

going to be a new person on the other side of it.

The darkest part of your story gave birth to the strongest

part of your soul. This is your invitation to embrace it all.